By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept
Start Your Business Magazine
  • Store
    Merchandise
    Subscribe
  • Features

    Grow, expand and leverage your business..

    Grow your start up business with our experts and industry insiders…

    Get Started

    Quick Links

    • Agenda
    • Business Books
    • Marketing
    • Technology
    • Wellbeing
    • Finance
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?

    Our Newsletters

    Our website stores cookies on your computer. They allow us to remember you and help personalise your experience with our site..

    Read our privacy policy for more information.
  • Book
  • Trending
    Technology

    Five dangers of oversharing on social media

    Nearly 85% of adults globally want to do more to protect their online…

    Technology

    How to make your online presence more sustainable

    With the threat of climate change growing larger each day, individuals and…

    Uncategorized

    Promotional Products That Boost Visibility and Loyalty

    In a world filled with digital noise, tangible, branded merchandise stands out…

  • Topics

    Topics

    • Agenda
    • Blogs
    • Book Review
    • Business Advice
    • eCommerce
    • SME Update
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
    • Events
    • Business Experts
    • Featured
    • Franchise
    • Growing Business
    • Health
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
    • Finance
    • Franchise Experts
    • How To
    • Interviews
    • Just for fun
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
    • Lifestyle
    • Making money
    • Manufacturing
    • Marketing
    • Money
    • Property
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
    • Starting Up
    • Taxation
    • Technology
    • Wellbeing
    • Women in Business
    Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
Reading:  Are You Being Gaslit?
Connect
Start Your Business MagazineStart Your Business Magazine
Aa
  • Magazine
  • SEO – Backlinks
  • Book: Start Your Business
Search
  • Agenda
  • Book Review
  • Blogs
  • Finance
  • Growing Business
  • How To
  • Interviews
  • Marketing
  • SME Update
  • Starting Up
  • Technology
  • Wellness
  • Contact
Have an existing account? Sign In
Follow US
  • RSS
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • Licensing
  • SEO
Copyright © 2014-2023 Ruby Theme Ltd. All Rights Reserved.

 Are You Being Gaslit?

Start Your Business
Wellbeing
Share
10 Min Read

Gaslighting at work used to solely refer to the deliberate psychological manipulation by a colleague or boss aimed to make you question your memory or perception of events, or at worst even your own sanity. Today workplace gaslighting perpetrators often exploit their professional power with the intention of influencing and controlling an individual.  With Antibullying week (13th – 17thNovember) approaching, Thom Dennis, CEO of Serenity in Leadership reveals why gaslighting needs to be addressed as part of anti-bullying workplace strategies.

Contents
How to identify a gaslighter by their behaviour, patterns and tactics?How gaslighting affects the individualHow to deal with gaslighting at work – If you are the targetHow to deal with gaslighting at work – As a good leader

As gaslighting can be hard to pinpoint it is not surprising that there is little research on how widespread it is to date. CIPD research in 2019 showed that 15% of employees in the UK experienced bullying over the past three years and one poll by MHR Global of 3033 people aged 18-54 years old revealed 58% of respondents have experienced gaslighting during their working lives.

How to identify a gaslighter by their behaviour, patterns and tactics?

A gaslighter downplays, denies truths or inaccurately retells events and plays on any insecurities and vulnerabilities to exert control over their target. They may tell you that you are “too sensitive” when making an inappropriate remark, or they may exclude you from something that you should be involved in, including meetings. Key signs that you are being gaslit include a persistent negative appraisal of your performance, looks, emotions, and the way you do things – both publicly (but subtly) and to you directly. You may be the target of gossip, and be made to feel belittled, excluded or inferior. When someone pretends to be helpful but sets you up for failure, or says one thing and then does another, or tells you that you are misremembering, you are being gaslit. Comments or ‘jokes’ about a person’s gender, culture, age or any other protected trait are always inappropriate and often a way to gaslight.

A gaslighter may take your belongings, deny it and subsequently restore them when you are out of the room. They may proffer strict codes of behaviour and then do the opposite. They could fail to tell you about a meeting so that you miss out and are reprimanded for not attending. They set you up to fail. They may say you are on target for a promotion but then ensure that you don’t get it by bad-mouthing you. They might block you from swapping to an alternative role in a different department internally. They may try to discipline you but not follow proper company processes or conduct any formal investigation. They may interrupt you when you are speaking or leave the room when you are talking.

A gaslighter will always want to have control over their target and won’t like to be challenged or proved wrong.  They tend to be insecure themselves but deflect this by controlling and undermining others. They need to have power, can often be narcissistic and can be toxic leaders but they aren’t often easy to spot. They can use subtle tactics, or charm and charisma which they quickly swap in and out of, making the presentation of gaslighting confusing.  When you are at some sort of breaking point they may alter their strategy and start encouraging you or complimenting you which has the effect of wrong-footing you, adding to the confusion.

How gaslighting affects the individual

Gaslighting is insidious and potentially very damaging. When you are being gas-lit you may feel uneasy coming to work.  It can result in you wanting to move job, affect your personal life and relationships and well-being, and because it can be so subtle it can make it difficult to ask for help or support. When repeated over time this behaviour can push someone off balance, make them feel their workplace is psychologically unsafe. It can leave them feeling isolated, questioning themselves and doubting the quality of their work, and who their friends are, causing them to lose confidence and self-esteem.

If you have strong self-awareness you might be more able to notice what’s going on and see it in a dispassionate light but if you are stuck in the cycle of somebody’s poor behaviour towards you it is very easy to be damaged by it.

Why gaslighting, gossip and other dysfunctional behaviour at work tarnish company culture

Dysfunctional behaviour affects everyone and can grossly affect the culture of the company as psychological safety is lost, as with any sort of bullying. When people feel stressed and anxious, the environment won’t be a happy, creative or productive one. An organisation will lose talent and absenteeism will increase as the target may dread going to work or feel they have to hide parts of themselves.  Organisations won’t get the best out of their people because both the perpetrator and the target’s attention is elsewhere. If others notice the gaslighting and see the perpetrator is getting away with it and not being made accountable, it will affect them either as ‘hopeless’ bystanders or by encouraging them to join in, especially if the aggressor is a role model.

How to deal with gaslighting at work – If you are the target

Workplace discrimination is a significant concern and should not be accepted by any organisation. If you experience workplace gaslighting based on your religion, race, gender or sexual orientation, it is advisable to start a harassment complaint.

Gauge your emotional well-being. If you consistently feel anxious, confused, or emotionally drained after interactions with someone, it may be a sign of gaslighting. Trust your instincts even when the gaslighter is trying to confuse and wrongfoot you. Look for constant denial, undermining behaviour, manipulation, contradictions and blame-shifting. Record the gaslighter’s actions and consult with trusted colleagues. Explain the situation in detail and ask for their support and valuable insights.

Meet with the gaslighter. If you feel you have the strength to deal with it then you might be able to arrange a meeting with the gaslighter, in the presence of others, to tackle the bullying and call them out to disarm the negative behaviour. Setting boundaries for yourself is empowering and helps to lift you out of the gaslighter’s influence.

Get support from trusted leaders and talk to someone if the gaslighting is affecting your wellbeing and mental health. Focus on self-care to stay balanced.

How to deal with gaslighting at work – As a good leader

Identify the signs. Hopefully, the organisation and its leaders are trained and equipped to deal with bullying of any sort. Be sensitive for the classic but subtle signs of a gaslighter and for colleagues who have recently changed and are demonstrating low levels of self-esteem. For example, if you are in a meeting and someone who should be there hasn’t been invited then question it.

Do not deny or minimise what the target is saying when they come to you to report behaviour that they are finding undermining. Actively listen and give assurance that action will be taken. They are likely to have already gone through several stages of self-doubt. Discounting feedback is damaging and re-traumatising. Great care is needed.

Don’t be a bystander if you are a witness. If you don’t call out poor behaviour you are condoning it.  No one should look the other way. Ask the perpetrator – “what is your intention?” Take a stand for the sake of the target but also everyone around them.  The more we don’t call bullies out, the more powerful they become. It can be hard for whistleblowers to stand alone but there is power in numbers.

Clearly inform the gaslighter that you are aware of their actions and are watching. Ask for evidence of what they are saying about the target.  Follow antibullying protocol and if needs be, put them on a probationary period.

Training – As with any anti-bullying strategy, leadership training on how to maintain standards of behaviour, how to deal with difficult situations when people are being traumatised and how to be a support are crucial.  Furthermore, teams need specific training on what gaslighting actually is and what the signs are to look out for and to understand the power of language.

By Thom Dennis, CEO of culture and leadership specialists, Serenity in Leadership

www.serenityinleadership.com

Sign Up For Daily Newsletter

Be keep up! Get the latest breaking news delivered straight to your inbox.

By signing up, you agree to our Terms of Use and acknowledge the data practices in our Privacy Policy. You may unsubscribe at any time.
Start Your Business November 3, 2023
Share this Article
Twitter LinkedIn Reddit Email Copy Link
  • RSS
  • Terms And Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
  • Licensing
  • SEO

Get the latest from us delivered straight to your inbox

Start Your Business Magazine: The Ultimate Business Start Up Guide provides information advice and guidance for entrepreneurs and new business start ups. Get the latest from us delivered directly to your inbox.

Our website stores cookies on your computer. They allow us to remember you and help personalize your experience with our site..

Read our privacy policy for more information.

Copyright 2023 Gambit Interactive Media Limited – All Rights Reserved.

Manage Cookie Consent
We use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Cookies are used for ads personalisation We do this to improve browsing experience as well as show personalized ads. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}
Go to mobile version
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Lost your password?